Where do I start?  Uhhh...Not really sure so I'll just jump right in.

Been an interesting week to say the least.  After last saturday nights event (not sure what to call it) things, more specifically me, has been different.  For the lack of a better phrase, I feel sane.  Not that I wasn't before, but I really wish that day would've happened a long time ago.  Why?  Because everything I have done up until this point finally makes sense.  The countless hours in the gym, the trips to therapy at SCIRP in Denver, the trips to Project Walk in California, the money spent, the tight group of people I associate with, the trip across Colorado last year on the trike...everything just makes sense.  Not like it hasn't before but this time it's really different.  Even though friends, family and many others have said you're getting better, stronger, more independent, it just didn't really click until that night.  

Holding onto the past so tight was really hindering my future.  I needed to let go of those memories and start to heal that scar in my life.  What happened that day in 2004 I can't change, wish I could, but I can't, and I think it took me 8 years to finally realize that.  The box is still unopened in my living room sitting in the same spot as it was on saturday, difference being is it just looks like a jersey and helmet now.  As much as it was a part of my life it doesn't define me, nor does my wheelchair, nor the trike.  As much as it was a break-down it was a personal break-through.  I'd call that good progress!

"Now what?"  Is something I've asked myself a lot this week and that too has been answered.  I have hired a coach, working on better nutrition and have a clear plan for the next few years.  Still working with the awesome people at Go Fast Sports, a relationship that I'm very thankful for.  Lots of great things are in the works and can be released soon. (That probably sounds familiar)  Sorry to be so secretive but I just want things to be almost perfect before releasing those plans.  You may already know and you may not, so don't let the cat out of the bag just yet, Please?

Off to CA to finish the trip, that got cut short when I got sick, in a few weeks.  Warm weather in February sounds so nice gonna be hard coming back again.  Now that sounds familiar for sure! LOL!

Until then please stay safe and warm!!

Jay

P.s. One last thought.  There are days when I feel I've said too much, released too many details, and not kept things close to me when I should.  However on the other hand, I feel like I should share more.  I'll keep working on that, maybe that's something for the book as they say! ;-)